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Breaking the News: How To Let Your Family and Friends Know that You’re Getting Divorced

Law Office of Tad Davis March 20, 2018

We all know that divorce can be tough on the parties involved, but close friends and family members of people going through divorce may also have a difficult time processing the news. This is especially true if you and your spouse share a social circle or have grown close to each other’s families. If you’re unsure of how, exactly, to tell your friends and family you’re getting divorced, we’ve put together a few tips to help guide you.

1) Set up A Time to Meet in Person.

Unless you live far away, an in-person conversation really is best. If you share a friend group or have family members nearby, it may be helpful to organize a small gathering where you can break the news to everyone at once. Or, you can ask to speak in person one-on-one or one the phone. Whatever method you choose, it’s always best practice not to reveal this information to others via social media. Doing so may be viewed as inappropriate and can be disrespectful to your spouse’s privacy. It can also invite gossip, rumors, and speculation from those who do not know you very well.

2) Consider Telling Others Jointly.

One of the first questions that will likely come to mind for your shared friends (or family members) is whether they will have to “choose” between the two of you. If you and your spouse are cordial and have mutual relationships you both wish to keep intact after the divorce, consider telling those close to you jointly. This will make it clear to your friends that you don’t expect loyalty to one person and that the two of you continue to value their place in your lives. If your friends hear the news from one spouse and not the other, they may assume it would be inappropriate to maintain a relationship with the other. A joint conversation with your friends and family will also allow them to ask any questions or share any concerns with the both of you, which can encourage openness between everybody.

One caution here is that if you aren’t cordial with each other the last thing you need to do is get into a fight in front of people you care for. They won’t appreciate it and you may hurt your relationship with people you care about.

3) Decide on What to Share.

Depending on the nature of your relationship with others, they may feel entitled to know the nitty gritty of what caused the divorce. Always remember that you are not obligated to share any specific details. Go into conversations about the divorce prepared to discuss the information you are comfortable sharing and having already decided what you will keep to yourself.

4) Be Specific About What You Need.

When others hear the news of your divorce, they will undoubtedly be concerned. Tell your friends and family what you need during this time. Maybe it’s simply an ear to listen, support in attending court dates and hearings, or advice. And, if you don’t need anything from your friends and family, tell them that as well. Being upfront about the type of support you need or don’t need can help those who care for you be there for you in the best way possible.

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Divorce is tough. Sometimes, talking about it can seem even more difficult. If you’re going through a divorce and need legal advice, my office is here for you. Simply give us a call for more information on how you can make a rough situation easier. Your initial consultation is free.