5 Bad Pieces of Divorce Advice You Might Hear from Others
Dec. 20, 2018
Divorce signifies the end of your marriage, and it can give you a good opportunity to self-reflect and restart your life from a different perspective. Before you put the final ink on your divorce agreement, however, you will likely get several pieces of advice from well-meaning people on how to go about your divorce. Some of this input can actually come in handy during this difficult time, but a lot of it may throw you off track if you are not careful. Being able to sift through the bad advice will go a long way towards finalizing your divorce as smoothly as possible. With that in mind, here are 5 common pieces of bad divorce advice to avoid.
Stay Together for The Kids
Some people believe that ending a marriage can have a significant negative impact on the children, especially when it comes to their mental health. This is mostly based on things such as social stigma and the lack of a particular parental figure in their lives. While this is true to a certain extent, staying in a toxic relationship is actually more detrimental to everyone involved. As much as you love your children, there is probably a good reason you are contemplating divorce. Subjecting your kids to a first-hand experience of the hostility and anger between the two most important people in their lives is simply not the better option.
Hide Your Assets
Once you announce the news of your divorce, you will likely receive numerous pieces of advice urging you to hide your assets in order to keep what is rightfully yours. This is often the case for spouses who are considerably wealthier than their partners. As tempting as it may be to hide all those profit dividends from the equity holdings of your business, that is not a good idea. Hiding assets can lead to a fraud lawsuit and even a criminal charge, so make sure you provide full financial disclosure during your divorce proceedings.
Settle Quickly at Any Cost so You Can Move on With Your Life
Divorce is a stressful and emotional event that can drain you of your energy and joy for life. Your friends may notice the negative impact it is having on you and advise you to get on with it as quickly as possible. The people who care about you just want to see you happy again and may try to convince you to take the first offer that your partner throws your way regardless of your actual wellbeing in mind. While this will obviously end the divorce process, there is a good chance that you will have buyer’s remorse when it is over. That doesn’t mean you need to sign up for a lengthy legal battle! Simply identifying what is important to you and what is not as important can really help you to feel comfortable with the final agreement.
Get a New Place Voluntarily
Living with your partner after deciding on a divorce can be awkward, to say the least. As a result, some of your friends or relatives may want to talk you into getting a new place. Besides, you will have to live separately after the divorce is over, right? Well, the only benefits of moving out before the divorce is finalized are getting out of a toxic situation and a feeling of being free to do your own thing.
But there are things about that decision that will make life tough. For instance, if you move out you will have a tougher time collecting all of your belongings and dividing physical assets if you aren’t there. Momentos can be inadvertently packed away in boxes, or thrown away, never to be seen again. And when it comes to kids, your current arrangements for housing and parenting time are likely to be adopted by the court as your current normal and something the court might want to continue.
There is one caveat, if your partner is trying to provoke you into committing an act of domestic violence moving out is the absolutely correct thing to do! If that is the case, you may want to seek out an order of protection as well to try to eliminate the conflict.
Just want to get away from the drama? If you get a new place and want to arrange for a temporary order for parenting time that will last until the final order is in place that can be a good thing.
You Don’t Need a Lawyer
Some people may argue that you don’t need to hire a lawyer if your spouse already has one. While this may be a good piece of advice in a perfect world, it is not practical in the real world. Attorneys cannot represent both parties, as this will create a conflict of interest. That means that your spouse’s lawyer is required to only look out for your spouse’s best interest. There are certainly many ethical and upstanding attorneys who will play within the rules, but whether it comes down to a question of long term best interest or a short term fix, don’t expect that your spouse’s attorney reaches any agreement with your best interest in mind. You’ll often find that working with an attorney to identify and work towards your goals will make the process simpler, not more complicated.
A divorce is an important event that can have a significant impact on the next phase of your life. If you are looking for a competent and experienced lawyer to represent you in your divorce, Tad Davis is here for you. Call our office today to get started.